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Trauma needs to be grieved so it can heal { My miscarriage story }

I found I out I was pregnant December 2006 only one year after my second son was born. It came as quite the surprise.

What came as more of a surprise happened not two months later in February of  2004.

I went in for a routine early check up. The one that they do the internal ultrasound to check on things. The lab technician seemed a little concerned as she excused herself from the room. When she came back she handed me a phone saying Betsy (my midwife) wants to speak with you. At this point, my heart started pounding.

Betsy told me she was so sorry to have to tell me this but that there was no heartbeat and my baby was not alive. I went cold and blank. I was faced with the next steps as to what would happen. She explained and I chose to miscarry at home on my own. I opted out of the D&C (a form of minor surgery called a 'dilatation and curettage').

I had no idea what it would be like, but in my gut I struggled with the idea of the procedure. What ensued was worse than I...

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