Rethinking Health Language: Why ‘Dysregulated’ and ‘Broken’ Don’t Serve Us

Why the word/term “dysregulated” isn’t helping anymore

I want to name something gently, because language matters — especially in healing spaces.

The word “dysregulated” is starting to lose its usefulness.

It’s become a blunt instrument.

A catch-all.

A label people try to fit themselves into — often at the expense of nuance, context, and dignity.

At this point, “dysregulated” is being used to mean:

-stressed

-tired

-overwhelmed

-reactive

-burned out

-traumatized

-behind

-“not healed enough”

That’s… almost everyone.

When a word means everything, it ends up meaning nothing.

And worse — it can quietly turn into a judgment.

I see people scanning themselves constantly:

→ Am I dysregulated right now?

→ Is this a sign I’m not healed?

→ What do I need to fix next?

That question alone can put the nervous system into more stress.

Here’s what I want to offer instead:

Most people aren’t “broken".

[Another problematic over-used term, but we'll address that one in a minute].

And they’re not failing at regulation.

Most people are living in bodies that adapted brilliantly to survival, pressure, pace, and instability — and were never given enough safety, rhythm, or support to integrate what they’ve lived through.

That’s not a personal flaw.

That’s a context problem.

Instead of asking,

“Am I regulated or dysregulated?”

I find it far more accurate to ask:

What is my system organized around right now?

Survival?

Throughput?

Holding it together?

Getting through the day?

Or stability?

Capacity?

Recovery?

Integration?

Regulation isn’t a personality trait.

It’s not a moral achievement.

And it’s not a permanent state.

It’s the ability to move through life with responsiveness and recovery — to mobilize when needed and return to safety when the moment passes.

When people don’t have that, it’s rarely because they’re doing something wrong.

It’s usually because their bandwidth is narrow, their rhythms are unstable, and their environment doesn’t support integration.

I’m less interested in labeling people as dysregulated.

I’m far more interested in helping systems build capacity, rhythm, and safety over time.

Healing doesn’t end.

It stabilizes.

It deepens.

It spirals.

It matures.

And we need language that reflects that truth — not language that keeps people stuck in self-monitoring and urgency.

 

Why the phrase  “You’re Not Broken” Isn’t Helping Either

We need to pause for a moment on a phrase that’s become almost automatic in wellness spaces: “you’re not broken.” I’ve said it myself. I’ve seen it everywhere. And while it’s meant to be comforting, it’s starting to lose its usefulness — especially if it flattens the nuance of what’s actually happening in a human body and life.

You’re Human

Here’s the truth: you are whole as a human being. You don’t have to be flawless, perfectly balanced, or magically “fixed” to be complete. Wholeness isn’t perfection. It isn’t a state you earn by eating the right foods, doing the right practices, or healing quickly.

Your body, your mind, and your system are living, dynamic, adaptive. Every stress you’ve carried, every pressure you’ve absorbed, every habit and environment you’ve lived in has shaped your capacity. Sometimes that capacity is low. Sometimes it’s stretched thin. That doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means your system has been doing the best it can under the circumstances.

Instead of asking, “Am I broken?” or trying to chase some imagined state of “perfect health,” the more useful question is:

• What is my system doing right now?

• Where is it carrying pressure?

• Where does it have space to recover, grow, and integrate?

Framing it this way reclaims agency. It invites curiosity instead of judgment. It helps you see your system as responsive and alive, not defective.

Healing and growth aren’t about suddenly becoming “fixed.” They’re about stabilizing, expanding, and deepening capacity over time. Some days, your system will feel strong. Other days, it will feel fragile. Both are part of the same process. Both are human.

So when we say, “you’re not broken,” let’s be clear: we’re not smoothing over real struggles, ignoring the work that needs to be done, or pretending that challenges aren’t real. We’re saying: you are whole enough to meet your challenges. You are human enough to grow through them. And your system is already working toward that growth — even if it doesn’t feel perfect yet.

If this perspective resonates with you, here’s how you can work with me to explore your body’s patterns and strengthen your system over time.